Shmex

Feeling blah and need a glow? The ultimate fix: a Big O!

Photo by Deon Black on Unsplash

Your breathing grows heavy as the rhythm of the body takes over, soft spasms gushing with dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins, and prolactin spreading throughout your nervous system. Your blood vessels dilate, enhancing oxygen flow through the body while the endorphins balance out and lower overall cortisol levels. This is just a tiny, cute little review of what happens throughout your nervous and limbic system when you have an orgasm. But the big “O” isn’t just the ole’ drop-it-like-it’s-hot moment it is, in its natural form, one of the most powerful, euphoric, organic, and productive remedies known to the body.

Shockingly, I’m not here to talk about the importance of a healthy sex life in a relationship because honestly, if you don’t know that by now, I have a great counselor I can refer you to who can help with those relationship issues (just reach out Grainger or Katie O'Connor.)

No, what I am here to talk about is something corporate therapy and medicine overlook. They overlook the role sex plays in your brain and gut health. We tend to think of sex as emotional or physical, maybe even spiritual, but we rarely connect it to what’s happening in our nervous system, hormones, or microbiome. The truth is, the benefits go way deeper, beyond the prostate gland and G-spot. When was the last time your family doctor, urologist, or gynecologist directly asked you about your sex life, orgasms, and discussed health benefits? They do it the cowardly way they make you complete a stupid assessment or survey, ask about weird discharge or something of that nature, and that’s where the conversation ends. Of course.

But it’s private. Sure. Using the bathroom is private too but yet we have no problem bringing a stool sample to the doctor, right? Well, sex is medicine.

Men

For men, the prostate gland plays a massive role in sexual health. It’s not just there for reproduction; it’s technically wired to the nervous system and hormonal regulation. When that area is stimulated (through pleasure), it organically releases fluids that support sperm health and also triggers the release of endorphins and oxytocin to help boost mood, calm the nervous system, and improve sleep. During graduate school I took several classes on sex therapy and not a single class focused on hormonal health supporting mental health and not a soul talked about the importance of focusing on the prostate gland. Like with everything else, men are left out of the conversation. Yet everyone is aware of the big G.

I don’t know if anyone told you this yet, but both women and men have a reset button. For men, that reset button is the prostate gland. You’re welcome! Seriously, this little walnut-sized gland is like a personal reboot system stimulate it, and the whole-body floods with feel-good hormones, calms the nervous system, boosts mood, and even helps the body repair itself. No medicine, no gimmicks, no BS, just a well-timed orgasm, and your system hits refresh.

When I did sex therapy in clinicals, I learned that none of the women I worked with at the time even knew about the prostate gland. So much for all those college parties. I personally didn’t go to a traditional college, so I wouldn’t know firsthand, but you hear stories. Apparently, people talk about a lot of things… just not about men’s climax. Only about a woman’s. Sigh.

During the same clinical experience, I found out that more than half the women also never orgasmed, ever. Again, this is such a touchy subject that even behind closed doors in therapy it was a difficult topic. It’s so odd. That’s another topic for another day.

Women

Women have a reset button too. It’s called the G-spot. When stimulated, it triggers a flood of endorphins, oxytocin, dopamine, and prolactin—chemicals that calm stress, lift mood, and put the nervous system into “relax” mode. Blood flow increases to the pelvic region, supporting tissue health and hormone balance, while the parasympathetic nervous system kicks in, soothing the gut, aiding digestion, and even influencing the microbiome.

Someone confused sleeping around with an orgasm…

Sex is very important but especially having an orgasm. In many conversations I’ve had behind closed doors in my practice, as well as in the journal articles I read for research and in open-ended studies conducted by scholars, it’s clear that sex doesn’t necessarily mean an orgasm is guaranteed. Society has turned sex into a commodity, a business, or something transactional, and that distorts the way people experience it. Psychology today reported that about 50% of women fake orgasms to just be done or speed along the process. Who lied to these women? Who told them to cheat themselves out of a hard reset?

The loaded question remains: what’s happening to the most natural experience we, as humans, have the privilege to indulge in and enjoy?

Let’s start with the obvious lack of education in the school system. Sex education has all but disappeared. Not that it was great when I had it, but at least there was a conversation. The next problem? The medical system focuses on managing illness rather than promoting wellness. Doctors aren’t being taught to ask, focus on, or explain the necessity of a healthy sex life and the importance of orgasms. Literally! You can walk into any clinic and find a whole series of brochures and pamphlets on abortion and STDs but nothing about the health benefits of a healthy, satisfying sex life.

Can you imagine being asked about your sleeping, eating, and movement habits and then your doctor asks if you’ve been having satisfactory orgasms? Why is that weird? Because the industry made it weird. It isn’t weird. It’s natural, organic, and healing.

During my clinical years, I asked questions about health, sleep, exercise, and family history yet not a single question addressed a healthy sex life, orgasm achievement, or intimacy, unless there was a disorder attached to it. I couldn’t even directly ask my patients how they were doing physiologically in that regard. It was considered inappropriate.

Is this intentional? Probably. Between the lack of education, the medications, and the drop in libido and testosterone, there are no coincidences. Something is happening…

How much of today’s spike in mental‑health problems among men and women can be directly linked to a lack of healthy sex and orgasms?

I’m not saying that having consistent orgasms will cure severely debilitating disorders, but what I am saying is this: orgasms heal the body. How can we not take it seriously? I often think that some of the mental health issues tied to couples and their systems are 70% connected to their lack of actual intimacy, the Big O.

Studies across the world have shown that men who climax regularly have a lower risk of prostate cancer and heart disease. Beyond that, people with sensitive immune systems or emotional dysregulation benefit from the reduction of cortisol the stress hormone that comes with orgasms.

The Big Picture is the Big O

People who orgasm regularly report better life quality, deeper sleep, and stronger relationship connections. Feeling down and kinda slow? Time to chase a Big O.

-My 2 Cents

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